Birthday IS the theme

Since when do little kids' birthday parties have to cost as much as a wedding? Or a new car? Or a second mortgage? Not in this household. Not as long as I’m the Mommy.

I was asked by a couple of people this week what the theme for Liam’s birthday party was. Theme? I thought birthday was a theme. He’s three, can’t that be the theme?

We are having friends over for brats on the grill, multiple salads, cake, ice cream and presents. How’s this for a theme: good food, good friends.

I am not made of money. If, for his three-year party, I rent a bouncy house, water slide and Bozo the clown, all of which he is scared of by the way, when does it end? When he turns 18 will I be renting a limousine and Bimbo the girl from the corner of 2nd & main?

I just don’t think this is something I want to get into. I do not feel the need to keep up with the Joneses. I am too old and too smart for this sort of nonsense. If there comes a time when Liam feels truly slighted by his Mother’s inability to play these games, he and I will sit down and have a discussion about economics 101.

I briefly considered calling the local humane society to find out if they would be willing to underwrite the party if I promised to send every kid home with a puppy. Wouldn’t that be a great theme? It would solve a lot of problems in one fell swoop. I could throw the most elaborate pet-themed party imaginable at no cost to us. Any number of sad little homeless puppies would find new homes. It is a win-win solution.

A friend suggested perhaps a garden theme wherein all the guests could apply themselves to my weedy flowerbeds. Not bad. Bring your own gloves.

In short, I think birthdays as an enterprise is the height of ridiculousness. When Liam starts to feel slighted, if he can’t understand the concepts of economics 101, he is perfectly welcome to break his own piggy bank to finance the theme, however, tapping into the college fund will not be tolerated.

"String too short to use"

10) I placed an order with J.C. Penney a couple of days ago. I looked all over the house for my catalog cause I knew it offered free shipping. Couldn’t find it. Today . . . it shows. So I called Penney’s on the off-chance they would credit me the shipping ($19.25). I figured it would be worth the call. Right? The first person I talked to said no way, but she offered to transfer me to someone on up the line. Terry at http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/default.aspx is my hero. I gave him the code off the catalog and he verified it and credited my account. Yippee!

9) Normally Chris picks up Liam from daycare on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but he has an awards ceremony at the school tonight so I have to go get Liam. I am whining a little because I am in the middle of about 500 things. Routine: I am your slave.

8) Our evening PIGS/Bible Study group has started both a study of Ephesians and a Prayer Shawl ministry. We figure we can do both at the same time. We started the study last week so it is too early to tell how that is going. However, I found several really neat shawl patterns on the internet, and one of our group purchased a pattern book. Here we go!

7) Is it just me or do the Toyota Sienna commercials make others want to vomit as well? NOTHING is cool about owning a minivan. A friend of mine has one and when I am truly desperate for space she lets me borrow it. I do so hoping no one will recognize me. I don’t see anything wrong with my son having the mom with the coolest car.

6) We got an invitation in the mail to the golden wedding anniversary party for some dear friends of my family’s. I am very happy for them, and wouldn’t miss it for the world, but it does remind me that Mom & Dad’s 50th would have been the summer of 2009. Dad died in September 2008, so they missed it by a few months. Just another bitter regret about Dad’s passing.

5) Having a water feature in the yard is nice. Sitting on the porch listening to the water is very soothing. We have five fair-sized fish in our pond we have raised from little tiny feeders. However, I have to tell you it is plenty of work in the spring and fall. We have a cover for it to attempt to keep the leaves out in the fall. It sort of works. Spring is worse because the blossoms from the trees and shrubs are little enough to get through and under the cover and they clog the filter. We have pulled and rinsed the filter about once a week for the past eight weeks. I’ll be glad when the current siege is over.

4) After 11 years we have finally found a trustworthy dog sitter! There are no kennels where we live. Several of the vets around town do kenneling, but the dogs and cats there get fed and that’s it; no walking, no petting, no love. Last weekend while we were at Chris’ leadership training for horse camp, we asked a friend to watch Mufasa. He is a very small, very needy dog. He got rave reviews! Most places we go we just take him with, but sometimes we really can’t. Thank you Sue! You may be seeing more of him, although we promise not to take advantage of your willingness to serve.

3) That’s it. I’ve had it! I am washing my car today. I don’t care how many bad weather gremlins are watching. My car is an absolutely beautiful machine when it is clean, and looks twice as dreadful as any old clunker when it is dirty. Some bird did its business down the passenger door a few weeks ago and our weather has been too lousy to do anything about it. But no more. We have wind today and I am liable to get completely drenched doing it, but here goes.

2) Last week I took care of a task I have been procrastinating for well over a year now. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought, certainly not worth all the concern and downright dread I have been feeling. I called a lawyer. No, I’m not leaving Chris. When Liam was born we knew flying by the seat of pants was no longer going to be a realistic option. We have been talking about wills, guardianship and a testamentary trust ever since. Naturally my biggest concern was cost and if we got a do-it-yourself kit, did it come with a rope for the inevitable hanging that would take place. Finally I found my courage and called a lawyer. Pleasantly, the task will not cost anywhere near what I feared and so the appointment is made. Three years too late, but better late than never. Now . . . which one of you wants him?

1) If you had to fight a duel tomorrow at dawn, who would your second be?

They love me here

In the past few months I have been offered two different full-time jobs. Unsolicited.

The first was from a gentleman who was a client of mine at the bank where I used to work. He is a well-established business owner here in town and I was very flattered when he told me he wanted to offer the job to me before he posted it to the public.

The second was just a couple of days ago from the manager of one of the credit unions here in town. He got my name from one of his customers who knows me.

Because I am currently doing work for eight clients and truly enjoy working from home, I had to turn them both down. If there were the slightest possibility I could work either into my current schedule, I would have done it, but both were full-time or nothing.

I have to say both offers were a real stroke to my ego.

I left the bank six years ago August. The day I walked away I had one client, and I was scared to death. My reputation has grown by word of mouth until now, almost six years later, I have eight steady clients and a couple of fly-byers. I work just about as much as I want to. I could work more, but I like my 16-20 hour weeks.

Working from home gives me plenty of time to spend with Liam. He goes to daycare a day and a half each week which gives me time to meet with clients and trade files and whatnot. Much of the time I really feel like I have the best of both worlds. I work Tuesday and Wednesday each week and half of either Monday or Friday . . . or not. My Wednesday people are the only ones who are somewhat inflexible. The rest I can move around pretty easily if something interesting comes up.

My husband hates this town, but we have lived here 17 years. We have been able to stay gainfully employed for most of that time. Obviously I have worked hard to have a good reputation here. At this stage of my life and career if we moved away, I would likely have go back to full-time jobs for an extended length of time in an attempt to establish myself. So, while I would agree this isn’t the prettiest place in the world to live, I have no real desire to go anywhere else.

I like living where my talents are needed and appreciated.

Having a helping of saddness

For reasons unknown, I am missing my Dad so much today. I don’t know what makes today different from any other day, but there you have it.

Some time ago I took two of the few pictures we have of Liam and my Dad and had them enlarged. They have been languishing in an envelope for months. Today, because Dad was on my mind, I decided it would be a good time to get this project finished.

I had a teary moment at the frame shop when I explained the significance of the pictures and what I wanted to have done, but all in all it was good. This will give Liam a memento for all time of his Grandpa Wayne. I am very thankful we at least have a couple of pictures of the two of them, because he’ll never remember him any other way. Liam was just too little when Dad died.

It still makes me angry. Dad died too young, and will miss out on Liam’s growing up. Liam wasn’t even walking yet when Dad passed away.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame God for taking him. We all wanted him with us, so why wouldn’t God?

It just seems so unfair to Liam, and to Dad. My Dad would have been the Grandpa who taught Liam to fish and drive a tractor and given him an appreciation of the natural world. I just know the two of them would have had so much fun together.

I consider myself a realist, and obviously nothing can be done to alter the circumstances, but I still don’t have to like it. We will tell my Dad’s stories and see him in pictures and videos and hope that we can convey to Liam how much his Grandpa Wayne loved him. That will have to do.

I cannot come up with the right words to convey the disappointment I feel in knowing this is the way it is going to be. Most of the time I just don’t let my mind go there, because it is still a very painful place. I think it always will be. If it was just me, it would be easier to deal with, but I feel this overwhelming sense of loss on Liam’s behalf. That one’s the killer, and I can’t fix this.

We love you Daddy/Grandpa and we miss you so very much.

Am I alone?

You offend me and I don’t let you go.
I offend you and it’s the first thing you do.

Am I just a sap?

Or am I the more tolerant of the two?

Why on earth should I not let people know when I am offended?

Never mind, I know, it is because in letting you know, I will offend you, and you will write me out of your life.

Perhaps it is time I don’t care so much about hanging on to friends who are just looking for an excuse to cut me out of their lives.

Perhaps I should go looking for less offensive friends, or at least friends who, while they might call me on it, will at least acknowledge I have a right to my feelings and opinions just as they do.

Why am I expected to tolerate theirs, but they refuse to tolerate mine?

Am I alone?

Quilting is a verb

I am feeling the need to blog, but also feeling like I have nothing to say. I have been feeling this way for quite some time, thus . . . not much new on this page. I am now prepared to slog my way through this and get something written whether I feel capable of it or not. So here goes.

Chris and I spent four days with my Mom this past week. It was good. She is just truckin’ along, doing her thing; whatever that is. Her eye has improved. My sister and I took her to Portland a couple weeks ago and the doctor cleared her for surgery. She has a consultation coming up on April 12, and hopefully can get the surgery scheduled relatively soon. It would be nice to get it out of the way before summer comes.

Mom and I tied quilts, five of them, which might have been a little ambitious. My sister, Karen, helped with three of the five and we got the job done. For those of you not familiar with quilting in general. Tying quilts is an old-fashioned way of finishing a quilt without actually hand or machine quilting it. We use yarn to tie a little knot about every six inches or so to hold the top, batt and back together. I much prefer this over quilting as you end up with a thicker, softer, cuddlier quilt. We also use flannel to back our quilts so they are extremely warm and snuggly.

We had a nice visit, but were very happy to get home. It is so fun to go visiting, but it always feels so very good to get home again. My own bed is a haven for a restful night’s sleep, and Malcolm, the cat, missed us terribly.

After I get the binding finished on the quilts I will post some pictures. I think Chris got some of Liam “helping,” so I will try to post some of those as well.

"String too short to use"

10) Busy. Busy. Busy.

9) I have been quilting like a woman possessed. I’m heading up to Mom’s the weekend of March 20th and I want to tie three quilts that weekend: a little boy quilt for Liam as he has outgrown all the cute little baby quilts he received before he was born (His feet hang out the end of all but two these days.); a new quilt for Chris and I’s bed as ours is very faded and worn; a quilt I agreed to help out my sister in-law, Elizabeth, with (She pieced the top, but then ran out of gas.) Needless to say, this has kept my sewing machine humming right along. Two of the three are ready, top and back, but the third one, ours, the one I call the Eternal Quilt, still needs borders sewn on the top and I need to put together a back for it which I haven’t even purchased yet. I will post pictures when finished.

8) In my spare time I have been creating table runners. A friend showed me a really neat quilt-as-you-go runner that turned out great. Then I made an octagonal one for a friend. Now I want to make more.

7) I am attempting to keep up on birthday and anniversary cards via snail mail this year. Invariably I get to about April or so and the train runs off the rails. My 2010 goal is to make it all the way to the end of the year. Wish me luck.

6) How is it that the smallest member of our household generates the most laundry?

5) Life turned upside down week before last. Chris was gone Presidents’ weekend and I spent the time doing taxes for us and some family and friends. He got back Monday evening, went to work Tuesday and didn’t feel good by Tuesday evening. He finally went to the hospital at about 10 p.m. and at about 1 a.m. they removed his appendix. It hadn’t burst, but was very inflamed. He spend two days in the hospital and then a few idle days at home. He went back to work last Tuesday and life has returned somewhat to normal. I am dreading the bills however.

4) Spring is here. Pace Picante Phil screwed up again. Never trust a rodent as a weatherman.

3) We spent some time last weekend pruning roses and lilacs and cutting back last year’s growth on some ornamental grasses. It felt so very good to be outside in the sun and not be bundled from head to toe. Liam played on the swing and slide so it was good for all of us.

2) Three out of seven isn’t too bad. If I were a batter I’d be a hero. Unfortunately, the three out of seven is the number of my clients with paperwork at the accountant’s for income tax purposes. Bleh. That leaves me four to go, two of which are most likely going to have to file for extensions because they have not exactly been forthcoming with information. Naturally they will drop the remainder of 2009 on me in the next few weeks and still expect to file by April 15. Ha. Ha. Ha. Then it becomes that whole "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" thing.

1) If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do?