Sadness

It has been a tough, tough week.

My dad, my hero, the coolest Dad any girl could ever have, died on Friday, September 19. He was only 68. I am still in shock.

Liam and I have been staying with my Mom helping her get through those first days. We returned home yesterday and the import of this event is starting to really hit me.

My dad was one of the finest people I know. Always helping, always kind. It breaks my heart that little Liam will neither know nor remember him. It was my dearest wish that both of my parents would be around long enough for Liam to have memories of them. Now that cannot happen. Somehow I have to become used to the idea that Liam will grow up without his Grandpa Wayne. This is so hard. No one can take ever his place.

I am still very angry. When I found out he was being rushed to the hospital, my words to God were, "Don't you take him, we aren't done with him yet." But are you ever, really?

I know there are stages of grief. I know we each have to go through them. They come to different people in different order and intensity. Pray for me and all the members of my family as we travel this journey. It is one we thought we would face years from now, but here it is and face it we must.

I must admit I worry most for my mom. She is going to be so lonely. She and Dad did everything together, especially since his retirement two years ago. In time she will develop new interests and we all know life will go on without Dad, but in the here and now, it looks lonely and sad for her. If you know her, call her and say “hello” if you live near her, go see her and take her out of the house to do something interesting and fun.

"String to short to use"

10) Liam has had hayfever/allergies right along with the rest of us this week. Poor little boogery boy. He doesn’t know how to blow his nose yet, so it just leaks out and gets smeared all over the place.

9) Liam loves to play with the magnets on our refrigerator. After a long search I found some plastic letters and numbers at a store here in town. Yea, they cost me all of $1.76. And will enable Liam to have hours of fun. We have found that the simplest toys are the best.

8) I know it doesn’t look that way, but i-n-s-u-r-a-n-c-e really is a four-letter word.

7) I get excited by the littlest things. I bought a new ironing board cover yesterday! I can’t wait to put it on the board. My old one really is a dirty, ratty mess. With all the sewing I do, I spend a great deal of time standing at the ironing board. So, believe it or not, this really is a gift for me!

6) Paint is in my future. I have a shelf Chris built for Liam’s room that needs primed and painted, and my dad built a toddler bed. He primed it, but I have to paint it. Liam should be ready for it sometime between now and Christmas.

5) As I am within 20 hours of making budget for this month, and I still have two weeks left, I am taking the day off! I am going to spend some time in my sewing room and playing with my little boy.

4) I want to be the person whose job it is to name paint colors. When we painted our bedroom last summer I chose “Song of Summer” and “Deep Everglades.” Liam’s room is “Pistachio Ice Cream,” “Capitol” and “Apple Creek.” My sewing room is “Smiley Face.” Our family room has one wall that is now “Sherwood Forest.” The guest bathroom is “Maple Sugar” and “Timothy’s Eyes.” Our utility room is “Flamingo.” The exterior of our home is “Seal Rock” and “Plum Creek.” Aren’t they wonderful names?

3) Time really does fly. It goes faster and faster the older I get. Having Liam around has sped it up considerably as well. When hours go by as minutes, it is no damn wonder I don’t get anything done.

2) During afternoon nap time, I have got to wash my poor car. Yike! If I don’t want someone to write “Wash Me” in the dirt, I’d best get it done. It is probably the dirtiest it has been since I bought it. Continuing the theme from #4, my car is “Sonic Blue.”

1) What one thing in your life best represents your freedom?

Overheard

As Chris was carrying him up the stairs the other day, I heard him tell Liam: “ I really like your mama, you know. In fact, I think your mama is the bee’s knees.”

Wow! I’m the bee’s knees!

Peace in our time

After a long and difficult week, there is peace in the Early household today.

What it took was for me and my auto sales client to have a meeting of the minds.

I had to make him understand it was/is not my fault that his books are four months behind. When you open a business in January and don’t hire a bookkeeper until June, that tends to happen. I am dancing as fast as I can to get to real time, but I refuse to work 40-60 hours a week. I have this sweet little boy I need to spend time with.

Car sales is a unique animal. Every sale is different. Some people pay cash outright. Some people have a trade in. Some people have to finance. Some people have a trade in that is not completely paid for. Some people have a trade in that is worth more than the vehicle they are purchasing. . . . the list goes on.

Then, each car has different things done to it. Some get tires. Some get brake work. Some just get washed and out the door they go. Some get paint. Some get detailed. . . . again, the list goes on.

Needless to say it makes my work interesting, albeit time consuming. I really like the work. It is challenging and helps keep my mind sharp in the ways of GAAP.

What has made me crazy is the owner’s general nervousness and seeming distrust. I finally came to the conclusion that either we were going to have to get on the same page, or I was going to have to cut him lose. I am working more than I want or need, and I certainly don’t need the headache he is giving me by calling every other day. After last night’s meeting, I think he finally understands just because he doesn’t see me, doesn’t mean I’m not working, and if he insists on seeing me too often, he is paying for that time, which leaves me less time to actually get his work done. At least I hope that’s where we are now.

The situation reminds me of when I was in college and worked as typesetter for the student newspaper. On layout nights I would shut the door to my cave and work like crazy to produce laid out stories for the reporters to then cut and paste. Reporters who insisted upon knocking on my door begging for their stories first, would get them last. It was oh so simple to slip their stories to the bottom of the stack. Most of them finally got the idea, the more they pestered me, the longer it took for them to get their stuff. We had one reporter who just couldn’t figure it out. He never made the connection between his constant knocking at my door and the fact that he was nearly always the last to get his pages completed and leaving for home at one o’clock in the morning.

My auto sales client has been the same way. The more he calls, the more I don’t want to even look at his books. Not to mention the fact that he is one of my latest clients and a whole bunch of others have been with me longer than he.

This might be vindictive and a terrible abuse of power, but I think it is just human nature. No one wants to be driven crazy while they are trying to do their job. And one way or another, the driver is going to pay.

"String too short to use"

10) Blue Tuesday, and that’s all I have to say about that.

9) I found the coolest site. Go here: www.betterworld.com. They have new and used books for sale at reasonable prices. It benefits worldwide literacy and saves books from landfills! What could be better than that? I was able to find some books that I have long been searching for.

8) Liam is adjusting very well to day care. He goes only two days a week for only 4 hours at a time. It is good for him to spend time with other kids, and it gives Mom a break and time to get some work done and meet with clients.

7) When in doubt, quilt!

6) Vertical blinds and small, curious boys are not a good mix.

5) Yea! Clean carpet. We recently purchased a carpet cleaning machine. With one small boy, one small dog and two large cats, we really need one. It is wonderful to be able to clean our carpets whenever we need to without borrowing or renting a machine or paying through the nose for professional cleaning. Yike! Buying the machine cost me less!

4) This is going to date me, but when I was a kid, my parents owned a station wagon. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but this new wave of vehicles labeled “crossover” look remarkably similar to the old Mercury station wagon we were hauled around in when I was a kid. I guess that new name makes them cooler somehow.

3) LBL - I used to think sleep was a colossal waste of time. I could always come up with more interesting, better ways to spend those hours. Not anymore. Sleep has become a necessity, one that is sadly lacking in my life these days :-(.

2) Prayers for Chris’ Mom. She goes in September 24 for a mastectomy. Her second. She had her first over 15 years ago. A couple of weeks ago they discovered lesions in the remaining breast. So here we go again. They caught it very early, so we are optimistic that all will be well.

1) Food for thought: If you could have only one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be?

File retrieval

icanhascheezburger.com

"String too short to use"

10) When you wash a baby’s face, you must also wash his/her tongue. Apparently it too is soiled after breakfast, lunch and dinner.

9) On the way home from visiting Grandma and Grandpa last weekend, completely unencouraged by anyone, Liam started clapping his hands for the first time on his own. All alone in the backseat of the truck he was clapping his hands. If I looked directly at him, he would stop. A new milestone!

8) Work. Work. Work. ‘Nuff said.

7) Little boys can smear poo a really long way.

6) I discovered several years ago I am what a friend of mine calls a “May-September gardener.” I work out in the yard through May and then I don’t start up again until September. September is here. I guess I’d better get going.

5) Chocolate cures many ills.

4) I am out of sugar. That is so irritating. I had plans to make a Nectarine Cobbler with some of the nectarines my friend gave me, but alas, it means a trip to the store first, not a undertaking to be approached lightly with a 15-month old in tow.

3) Day care is the modern worlds’ cure for Mom’s stress.

2) Office chair = Merry-Go ‘Round

1) Maintaining inventory records is not a job for the faint of heart.