Monday, September 29, 2008

Sadness

It has been a tough, tough week.

My dad, my hero, the coolest Dad any girl could ever have, died on Friday, September 19. He was only 68. I am still in shock.

Liam and I have been staying with my Mom helping her get through those first days. We returned home yesterday and the import of this event is starting to really hit me.

My dad was one of the finest people I know. Always helping, always kind. It breaks my heart that little Liam will neither know nor remember him. It was my dearest wish that both of my parents would be around long enough for Liam to have memories of them. Now that cannot happen. Somehow I have to become used to the idea that Liam will grow up without his Grandpa Wayne. This is so hard. No one can take ever his place.

I am still very angry. When I found out he was being rushed to the hospital, my words to God were, "Don't you take him, we aren't done with him yet." But are you ever, really?

I know there are stages of grief. I know we each have to go through them. They come to different people in different order and intensity. Pray for me and all the members of my family as we travel this journey. It is one we thought we would face years from now, but here it is and face it we must.

I must admit I worry most for my mom. She is going to be so lonely. She and Dad did everything together, especially since his retirement two years ago. In time she will develop new interests and we all know life will go on without Dad, but in the here and now, it looks lonely and sad for her. If you know her, call her and say “hello” if you live near her, go see her and take her out of the house to do something interesting and fun.

2 comments:

mags said...

Dearest Janie ...

You have not been far from my heart since we spoke last week. I love you, and will continue to lift you and yours up.

Folks will tell you to take it one day at a time, but I will slow it down even more. One moment, one step, one breath at a time will do, sometimes. And in those moments, I pray you will find laughter along with the tears.

CMR said...

JKE --

We are never ready, even when we think we are.

Whether you have timetables that your mind may grasp but your heart never will...or you hear the phone ring and your heart sinks without knowing exactly why.

Let yourself be angry a little. Let yourself be hurt a lot. If there's one thing I know all to well, it's the consequences of bottling that emotion up inside, both to you and those who love you.

You and your family are in my thoughts.